Many, many things that are hard to believe...

Recently, there have been some lists circulating at work. I'm not sure of the source(s), but I've collected 9 of them. I'm going to list some of the highlights here for your reading enjoyment...

(More Than) 10 Things That Are Hard To Believe:

• John Skidmore won Poo-Fon-Doo hairstyle of the year, chosen by Vogue magazine. He beat Tom Beaumont by a hair.
• Shawn Stevens once called someone lazy.
• Captain Bell was selected as Scioto County's Cowboy of the Year. He put the cows up on Cook Road more than anyone else, including the entire farm staff. He also received an additional mention as bull-milker of the year.
• Lt. Dino Frazie ran shift.
• Officer Burk earned the nickname "High Dive" when he fell down the hatch in Tower 3 and was heard singing "Please help me, I'm falling..."
• Warden Voorhies has an older brother named Jason who was actually born on Friday the 13th. Jason likes to dress up like Freddy Krueger on Halloween.
• William Hitch blew so hard on the doll in CPR class that it was still breathing 4 hours later.
• Wendell Pendlum has actually been dead for eight months now. You remember the movie Weekend At Bernie's? Well, he went on "doctor's care" when it became too much of a hassle to carry all 90 pounds of him up and down the tower stairs.
• Sergeant Joseph recently passed his own security challenge when he dressed a black inmate in cowboy clothes and took him out to a white family. Yee-HAW!
• It was reported by several eye witnesses that Matt Thomas fell in love with the doll in CPR class when it had barbecue sauce on its lips. Matt threw on his bib and went to town. He was later seen asking the warden if he could perform a wedding ceremony.
• Officer Falls is the Superman of second shift. That is until there's a signal 3, which is his kryptonite and causes him to crumble and fall to the floor.
• Lt. Tim Fields made history (or as I like to say "hysterical-ry") when he decided to spray everyone in a three-block radius of a small shoving match in K-6, including himself, Lt. Frazie and several officers, all to ensure the safety of the entire institution.
• Officer Dave Bradley was in the infirmary practicing the hoot owl imitation he is mildly famous for. A short time later, officer Darst sailed through the door and landed on the desk, thinking it was mating season.

That's enough for now, I'll have more later, and remember, if you have any useful pictures, e-mail them to us at the address below:

socf.funnies@gmail.com